The number one strategy everybody needs to know to be an effective communicator is the fine art of clarification. In my experience, that is it. Every communication strategy you will ever use is rooted in clarification.
Now you may be thinking, “I knew that. That’s simple and is common sense.” Well, guess what? Hardly anybody does it. The people I have met, and I have met thousands, understand clarification as a concept, but they haven’t taken the time to define it in a functional way and they never learned it as a concrete, deliberate strategy.
If you say that you clarify all the time, well, maybe you clarify some of the time, but I guarantee that you do not clarify as often as you need to. For instance, have you ever experienced misunderstandings, arguments or misperceptions in your relationships?
How often after a misunderstanding do you say to yourself, “Oh well, next time I’ll remember to ask or check in with you,” and then you don’t? This is because you haven’t learned to believe clarification is critical, a priority, or essential.
That is why you don’t do it. In my life, I miss so much nonverbal information that I’d better clarify that I have enough information to know what the heck is going on, and by doing so, my life has become so much easier.
Let’s define clarification so we understand it in the same way. Clarification is checking in with the person you are communicating with in order to verify the message you received is the message the other person intended. The main goal of clarification is to eliminate any confusion and ensure everyone is on the same page. The reverse is true as well.