One assumption many parents and professionals make is that people with Neurodiversity aren’t motivated to improve their lives.
It isn’t that they don’t want to change, they may not believe they’re able to change.
They often have difficulty finishing what they start or getting started at all. Struggle with creating an action plan let alone executing on one.
This can cause such brutal self-talk they believe themselves to be stupid, incompetent, worthless etc.
The first thing to establish with any person living with Neurodiversity is their mindset around change:
1. Is change something they want?
2. Do they believe they are capable of making the change(s) they want?
3. If things were more like they wanted them to be, what would be different?
4. What one thing could they do to begin making that change?
5. What do they need to believe about themselves in order to take that first action?
6. Do they agree to act as if what they believed what was stated in #5 is true?
7. Do they agree to take the new action and report back?
How they respond to this exercise will tell you a lot about how flexible their thinking is, their level of self-doubt, openness to risk and change, etc.
Again, the objective is to introduce the possibility that change remains accessible and achievable but isn’t attainable until the individual believes it is and takes action.
You may even feel like you’re being mean to others you’re setting boundaries with. Especially because many of them will say so.
It’s important to recognize the positive qualities you’re embodying when you set boundaries to offset any negative feedback you receive.
Should you receive pushback when setting boundaries, focus on feeling the self-respect, honesty and balance flowing through you.
Let that be what drives you to keep showing up in this new empowered way. It’ll be much harder for the naysayers to shut you down.