A lot of us with ADHD or autism tend to nitpick every word someone says to avoid getting upset, but honestly, that just makes people afraid to talk to us.
What if instead, we used those moments to check ourselves and realize that it’s our assumptions about what others mean that stir things up?
What if we focused on asking for clarification so others can explain what they really mean, rather than fixating on the exact words they used?
In my opinion, this is the most important social skill to master. It’s hands-down the most effective way to reduce or even eliminate misunderstandings, preventing hurt feelings and unnecessary fallout in relationships.
Becoming highly proficient in this skill is absolutely worth it. And it goes far beyond simply asking, “Do you understand?” I’ve created a comprehensive course on how to clarify effectively. Many clients have told me it completely changed how they approach communication, and it’s blowing their minds!
Nobody’s a mind reader. Nobody knows exactly where we’re at emotionally or how to tiptoe around every eggshell to avoid our unhealed triggers.
Here’s the thing: we, as autistic adults, have a role to play in improving communication too. We’re not just victims here—we’re teachers. And let’s be real, condemning someone for not knowing better isn’t going to help anyone. Teaching and guiding? That’s how we build real understanding.