ADHD doesn’t make you lazy, but it can leave you feeling very discouraged…
Ever notice how, when you’re convinced you’ll fail, you just don’t even want to try?
Now think about our kiddos with Autism/ADHD. It may not be laziness or procrastination—it’s likely the fear of failing before they even start. I remember feeling like that throughout life. You?
How do we change this?
One thing I do is imagine myself as a treasure hunter, exploring life in search of treasure (e.g., connection, laughter, learning), while expecting to fall, get cut, bruised, and sometimes seriously injured. So, failing is part of the process.
Here are a few tips for practicing the Treasure Hunter Approach [he writes while humming the theme to Mission Impossible]:
1. Reframe Setbacks as Clues: I remember playing a game as a kid. It involved giving simple clues like, “Getting warmer,” remember that game?
Same with treasure hunting. You can think of setbacks as breadcrumbs leading you to the big treasure.
When life doesn’t go as planned, instead of beating ourselves up, let’s ask, “What’s good about this?” and “What do I now know isn’t working?” then, “What’s the next thing I need to do for things to work in the direction I want to go?”
We’re on a mission, and every misstep is just another clue to help us know if we’re getting warmer or colder in our journey to find the treasures of human life—specifically, healthy and lasting relationships.
2. Celebrate Small Wins: Remember, even finding one tiny piece of treasure is a win. It’s like getting that first sip of coffee in the morning—small, but oh-so-satisfying.
So, you didn’t clean your entire room, but you put a few things away. That’s a brick in a larger wall. It may not seem like much in the moment, but establishing that habit could pay off over time.
3. Anticipate Obstacles: Like I said earlier, every treasure hunt has a rough road. So, let’s expect the bumps, bruises, and occasional wrong turns.
Knowing they’re part of the deal makes them a little less scary when they pop up.
They absolutely ARE NOT personal. It’s the path, NOT the person.
4. Stay Curious: Curiosity is our best friend on this journey. Take it from someone afraid to try new things because of the uncertainty.
But when I sit down and take time to see the situation through a lens of curiosity, I start calming down and feeling more eager. Sure, there’s also anxiety, but not nearly enough to hold me back.
I wonder what treasure I’ll find next? Curiosity keeps things fresh and exciting—like opening a new book you can’t wait to dive into to see what happens next.
5. Visualize the Treasure: If you don’t believe the treasure is something you’re worthy of, are capable of getting, and will inevitably have, you’ll self-sabotage to protect yourself from experiencing what you may unconsciously believe is an inevitable failure that made all of your efforts pointless.
I have aphantasia, so I imagine how I’d feel having the treasure, and that’s powerful for me.
Visualizing the treasure can keep us motivated, even when the path gets rocky.
6. Grab A Buddy: Body Doubling is where it’s at, am I right? Don’t be shy about asking for help or teaming up with someone who gets it.
Having a partner can make the journey less lonely and give us that extra push when we’re tempted to throw in the towel (or the treasure map). We’re all in this together, right?
I find this approach helps keep my own human imperfections in perspective. Your confidence may increase as you experience your ability to keep learning, moving, and growing.
Your increased resourcefulness and resilience help you contribute more and more to the world.
This is one approach. What works for you?