Let’s be honest, we aren’t perfect, and our kiddos keep us guessing. It’s like trying to play a never-ending game of Whac-A-Mole with invisible moles! You think you’ve got it all figured out, and then—BAM!—a new challenge pops up.
This reminds me of a conversation with a mom who desperately wanted me to work with her autistic teenager. The catch? He didn’t want to work with anyone. Imagine trying to convince a cat to take a bath—that’s about the level of enthusiasm we were dealing with.
I had to explain to this mom that her son didn’t need to work with me because, well, he’d likely end up shooting himself in the foot. Even if he was invested, he’d probably forget what we talked about, lie about following through, or simply not follow through at all. He’s at the mercy of his executive function glitches until he develops the self-awareness and self-compassion to address them honestly.
But here’s the twist: a parent has hundreds more opportunities to make a difference than I ever will. It’s like being a superhero with unlimited power-ups. I told her, “He doesn’t need to have a relationship with me, but he does need to have one with you.”
You see, I use the relationship with the parent as the agent of change. Through tweaks in the way you interact with your child, we can help them become more flexible in their thinking, more collaborative, less reactive, and more.
So stop expecting yourself to be perfect and figure it all out alone. It doesn’t make sense to reinvent parenting every time you have a kid. With my first son, I was on the phone constantly, profoundly grateful for the advice and comforting ears from those who’d been there before.
The bottom line is that I can help you. If instead of talking yourself out of this you instead message me, then we talk about how to help you get started. I’ll talk to you soon.