My lousy working memory has been the cause of more arguments than I can count.
I used to feel so embarrassed when I knew someone was telling me something important, but I simply couldn’t remember everything they were telling me.
If they were to end with, “What do you think?” my heart would jump into my throat as I’d apologize for not remembering what they said, after which they’d feel hurt and accuse me of not caring enough to listen, and so on.
Discovering I have ADHD gave me a map of sorts to help me determine where the skill gaps were so I could accommodate them.
Now I have multiple options for overcoming my memory issues when talking with others.
One option I’m using more often is taking notes during the conversation. Do you have experience with this?
A favorite of mine is to ask questions that are helpful regardless of how much I remember, like these:
• So what are you going to do now?
• What would you say your takeaway is from all that?
• If there’s something I can do to support you right now, please tell me.
Using these approaches takes a tremendous amount of pressure off me. I don’t exhaust myself with anxiety, and others are able to feel heard.
The more I understand and accommodate my ADHD, the better able I am to build stronger connections, feel less lonely and show others that I care.
I’m more comfortable disclosing my memory issue to others in a way that they’re enthusiastic about accommodating me.
Instead of feeling like I’m a burden for having the memory problem in the first place.
I encourage you to try these techniques and see how they work for you. Let me know how it goes. If you know of other strategies, I’d love to learn about them. We’re all in this together.