Do you struggle to connect with others, there is hope.
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Growing up, I was an intense, impulsive, and blunt child. I turned people off without even realizing why. I had ADHD and Asperger’s (Autism 1) before most knew what those were. Over time, I withdrew more into my shell as my clumsy attempts at connection were met with confusion or frustration from peers. I felt like an alien trying to blend into a world with customs I couldn’t grasp.
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It wasn’t until graduate school that I met my first social advisor – a fiery, tell-it-like-it-is classmate named Kathy. One day over lunch, she declared bluntly: “You can’t say that!” I was surprised because I thought I was just asking a question. Apparently I had crossed some invisible social boundary without realizing it.
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Kathy became my guide, helping me identify the nonverbal cues, sarcasm, and unspoken rules I had been missing. I discovered I had been living in a social cave, oblivious to the intricate dance going on around me. For the first time, I felt hope that I could learn this bewildering language.
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If this resonates with you, take heart. You are not alone. Itโs been 20 some years since I first met Kathy and weโre great friends to this day. Iโm often referred to as a โtranslatorโ by my clients because of how skilled Iโve become at helping both sides (ND & NT) of a misunderstanding to understand each other in an empathetic way.
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The puzzling world of social interaction still confuses me at times. But I know what to look for and listen for better than ever. I love teaching these insights and skills to my clients. I love seeing the lightbulb go off when I teach them and even moreso when they implement it and it works.
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You arenโt destined to be alone because you donโt know what youโre doing socially. There are workarounds that help you honor the way your mind works and skills that can get others enthusiastic about supporting you.
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Let me know if you have any questions about this! I’m happy to help.
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๐๐ณ๐ช๐ข๐ฏ ๐ฉ๐ข๐ด ๐ข ๐๐ข๐ด๐ต๐ฆ๐ณ’๐ด ๐๐ฆ๐จ๐ณ๐ฆ๐ฆ ๐ช๐ฏ ๐๐ฐ๐ค๐ช๐ข๐ญ ๐๐ฐ๐ณ๐ฌ ๐ข๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐ช๐ด ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ง๐ข๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ณ ๐ฐ๐ง ๐ต๐ฉ๐ณ๐ฆ๐ฆ ๐ฃ๐ฐ๐บ๐ด ๐ธ๐ช๐ต๐ฉ ๐๐ถ๐ต๐ช๐ด๐ฎ ๐ข๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐๐๐๐. ๐๐ง๐ต๐ฆ๐ณ ๐ณ๐ฆ๐ค๐ฆ๐ช๐ท๐ช๐ฏ๐จ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ด๐ข๐ฎ๐ฆ ๐ฅ๐ช๐ข๐จ๐ฏ๐ฐ๐ด๐ฆ๐ด ๐ฉ๐ช๐ฎ๐ด๐ฆ๐ญ๐ง, ๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ธ๐ฆ๐ฏ๐ต ๐ฐ๐ฏ ๐ต๐ฐ ๐ธ๐ณ๐ช๐ต๐ฆ 5 ๐ฃ๐ฐ๐ฐ๐ฌ๐ด ๐ข๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐ฃ๐ฆ๐ค๐ฐ๐ฎ๐ฆ ๐ข ๐ณ๐ฆ๐ค๐ฐ๐จ๐ฏ๐ช๐ป๐ฆ๐ฅ ๐ด๐ฑ๐ฆ๐ค๐ช๐ข๐ญ๐ช๐ด๐ต ๐ช๐ฏ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ง๐ช๐ฆ๐ญ๐ฅ. ๐๐ช๐ต๐ฉ ๐ข ๐ถ๐ฏ๐ช๐ฒ๐ถ๐ฆ ๐ข๐ฑ๐ฑ๐ณ๐ฐ๐ข๐ค๐ฉ ๐ต๐ฐ ๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ญ๐ฑ๐ช๐ฏ๐จ ๐ฑ๐ข๐ณ๐ฆ๐ฏ๐ต๐ด ๐ข๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐ฆ๐ฅ๐ถ๐ค๐ข๐ต๐ฐ๐ณ๐ด ๐ค๐ฐ๐ฏ๐ฏ๐ฆ๐ค๐ต ๐ธ๐ช๐ต๐ฉ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ช๐ณ ๐ค๐ฉ๐ช๐ญ๐ฅ๐ณ๐ฆ๐ฏ ๐ธ๐ฉ๐ฐ ๐ญ๐ช๐ท๐ฆ ๐ธ๐ช๐ต๐ฉ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ด๐ฆ ๐ถ๐ฏ๐ช๐ฒ๐ถ๐ฆ ๐ค๐ฉ๐ข๐ญ๐ญ๐ฆ๐ฏ๐จ๐ฆ๐ด, ๐๐ณ๐ช๐ข๐ฏ’๐ด ๐ค๐ข๐ฑ๐ต๐ช๐ท๐ข๐ต๐ช๐ฏ๐จ, ๐ช๐ฏ๐ต๐ฆ๐ณ๐ข๐ค๐ต๐ช๐ท๐ฆ ๐ฑ๐ณ๐ฆ๐ด๐ฆ๐ฏ๐ต๐ข๐ต๐ช๐ฐ๐ฏ๐ด ๐ข๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐ฑ๐ณ๐ฐ๐จ๐ณ๐ข๐ฎ๐ด ๐ค๐ฐ๐ฏ๐ต๐ช๐ฏ๐ถ๐ฆ ๐ต๐ฐ ๐ค๐ฉ๐ข๐ฏ๐จ๐ฆ ๐ญ๐ช๐ท๐ฆ๐ด ๐ข๐ณ๐ฐ๐ถ๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ธ๐ฐ๐ณ๐ญ๐ฅ. ๐๐ช๐ด ๐ฎ๐ฆ๐ด๐ด๐ข๐จ๐ฆ ๐ฐ๐ง ๐ด๐ฆ๐ญ๐ง-๐ค๐ฐ๐ฎ๐ฑ๐ข๐ด๐ด๐ช๐ฐ๐ฏ, ๐ณ๐ฆ๐ด๐ช๐ญ๐ช๐ฆ๐ฏ๐ค๐ฆ ๐ข๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ช๐ฎ๐ฑ๐ฐ๐ณ๐ต๐ข๐ฏ๐ค๐ฆ ๐ฐ๐ง ๐ธ๐ฐ๐ณ๐ฌ๐ช๐ฏ๐จ ๐ต๐ฐ๐จ๐ฆ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ณ ๐ช๐ด ๐ฐ๐ฏ๐ฆ ๐ธ๐ฆ ๐ข๐ญ๐ญ ๐ฏ๐ฆ๐ฆ๐ฅ ๐ต๐ฐ ๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ข๐ณ. ๐ ๐ฐ๐ถ ๐ค๐ข๐ฏ ๐ด๐ฆ๐ฆ ๐ข๐ญ๐ญ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ฆ๐น๐ค๐ช๐ต๐ช๐ฏ๐จ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ช๐ฏ๐จ๐ด ๐๐ณ๐ช๐ข๐ฏ ๐ช๐ด ๐ถ๐ฑ ๐ต๐ฐ ๐ข๐ต ๐๐ณ๐ช๐ข๐ฏ๐๐ข๐ฏ๐๐ฆ๐ญ๐ฑ.๐ค๐ฐ๐ฎ