When I discovered how much I was missing non-verbally, and how it was the cause of so much of my social trouble, I interviewed peers to understand the subtle nonverbal cues I was missing in communication. This was in the early part of this century while still in school for my social work degree.
When I asked ‘why’ they did these things in the first place, they didn’t know. “Well, I’ve always done it that way.” or “Cause that’s what you do.” Bottom line is they learned it through social conditioning they never questioned. Right then!
I challenged the idea that things like eye contact, chit-chat, and handshaking were non-negotiable.
I went on to develop workarounds to meet my sensory needs and bridge the non-verbal gap. I talk about this in my book “Strategies for Building Successful Relationships with People on the Autism Spectrum: Let’s Relate!“
My unique gift with language allows me to create some powerful zingers that put people at ease with doing something differently than what they’re used to socially.
“You always know just what to say” a statement I hear frequently from my clients. Having me at your disposal when you need to have some difficult conversations is a smart move.