“Doing my best. Focusing on finding purpose, and joy in simply being alive.”
That was my answer when my friend Sara (who is over in the UK), messaged me asking how I was doing these days.
That exchange led to a zoom call. She, and I had an opportunity to talk through some of our more challenging growth experiences, and how we were navigating them.
After my frightening, and all consuming experience with pain about a week ago. I’m learning more, and more, about how much my mind is influenced by comparison.
I experience envy too often when looking at photos of folks enjoying the great outdoors. Activities I can no longer do as my condition progresses.
The more I dwell on what I had, the more I tell myself my present life is not good enough by comparison. The more I compare, the more an insatiable longing for the past preoccupies my attention, at the expense of the present.
I write this as I lie in bed, listening to the sound of a fan. Watching our cat Ruby looking out the open window. Enjoying the sun illuminating the room.
I’m lying here, allowing myself to experience the sensations, and experiences available to me in this moment.
Regardless of the things I may have lost, I have this moment. So many things to be grateful for, so many things I get to experience simply because I have the privilege of experiencing them as a human being.
As imperfect as my life is, and continues to become. The fact I get to experience “Life” itself is incredibly awe inspiring to me.
So my work is to buildup the muscle, allowing me to make the most of my ability to spot the joy in this moment, and each moment to come.