Ever been swimming in a pool, you’re comfortable in the water, then someone starts splashing you in the face?
How does that work for you?
Well, being given unsolicited advice can feel much the same way.
When you choose to sit under the big water bucket, you know what’s coming, you prepare for it. Then SPLUSH! You get drenched, and feel almost as though your sins have been washed away.
Too often, advice is given without regard for whether the intended recipient is prepared to hear it.
So their feedback is heard as criticism versus support.
But there’s a simple tweak to make this exchange go better for both people involved. Ask for permission to give advice before giving it.
If they say no, honor it. If they really need to hear it, give them a minute or two to get ready to hear it in the spirit it’s intended.
Permission respects another person’s needs, and boundaries, their right to say, “No”.
Regardless of the relationship between you, and any power dynamic that exists. Caring shown through fear, impatience, and criticism discourages.
Permission, modeling and mentoring are far more effective ways to encourage, and support change.
I teach the mom’s of ND kids I work with, how to connect with their kiddos in a way that reduces the power struggles, and increases their ability to work together.
How you show up matters.