When you’ve experienced hurt after hurt that’s difficult to heal, here’s what happens.
If you experienced a hurt at age 5, that you haven’t been able to heal, there’s a part of you stuck at age 5. It’s waiting for the guidance it needs to move forward.
Say something else happens when you’re 11, then 20.
You could wind up an adult that’s anxious, depressed, confused and so on.
How could you not be when you’re trying to adult with parts of you that are 5, others 11 and so on.
Each of these ages is stuck in a threat response and responds to danger from its level of maturity.
They each want to keep you safe in a different way, ending up in conflict with each other as a result.
The different reasons you think of for not doing something, usually accompanied by catastrophic thinking – that’s them. The younger parts trying to protect you.
What’s seen as dramatic or an overreaction, is likely coming from a part of you stuck at a younger age. The 5 or 11 year old part waiting to grow, and learn to feel safe again.
It’s hard to know who you are, when your growth is haphazard and your inner world is sending you so many mixed messages.
Bringing things into better (not perfect) balance, is key for finding the peace of mind, calm, connection and happiness you’re looking for.
It doesn’t happen overnight, and you don’t want it too. It’s simpler to navigate a river than a flood.
I’ve been doing this work on myself for over 30 years, and teaching it to others since 2006. Since I’m always growing, my clients are always learning more.
It’s an amazing journey.