Must be a misunderstanding between us……

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Misunderstandings happen, right?
 
Misunderstandings are expected.
 
Misunderstandings are best anticipated and prepared for.
 
Sure, there are times when the words seem to come out, and are heard exactly the way you meant. But that’s rare.
 
More often, communication can be like pouring vegetable soup through a screen. The liquid gets through but the veggies are caught in the screen.
 
When you communicate. Your words and meaning are screened through the other person’s story. Their emotional armor, their biases, assumptions, entitlements and so on.
 
The most valuable parts of your message, like the veggies, may never get through.
 
I’ve spent decades learning to be a more effective communicator. With heavy emphasis on what causes misunderstandings between we Neurodivergents and others.
 
One of the biggest hurdles to communication is believing only others misunderstand. I see this in many folks with neurodivergence.
 
Although social relationship and communication skill gaps define neurodivergence, too many ND’s insist they did everything right and everyone else is the problem.
 
This belief is inaccurate and a recipe for loneliness.
 
It’s imperative to learn what your brain misses, assumes, and so on, in relationships. Concrete, all-or-nothing, emotional reactivity, auditory processing, take your pick.
 
Then develop humility where defensiveness currently resides.
 
Humility is rooted in self-compassion you extend to the imperfections inherent in being human. 
 
I spent an hour this morning teaching my women’s inner circle how to meet moments of miscommunication, with skills that can prevent them or quickly repair them.
 
I don’t teach scripts, I teach you to understand communication in a way that the words eventually come intuitively.
 
Relationships become less overwhelming and more fulfilling when you can navigate communication confidently versus avoiding it.
 
Let me know if you’d like to learn this too.
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