May I ask you something personal?
One takeaway I noted from the July 2 call for my Inner Circle members, is the importance of asking for permission in relationships. Not to the point it becomes controlling, of course.
It’s about establishing, and communicating your boundaries.
As someone challenged with non-verbal communication, this helps prevent many foot-in-mouth moments.
I ask my wife, and sons if I can hug them, and respect their right to say, “No’. I know their needs matter too, and if a hug at that moment would be too much, I honor that.
In the past I would’ve taken a, “No” as a rejection, and feel terrible afterward. Because of the inner work I’ve done, I no longer experience the rejection. Instead, I feel compassion for the other person.
Asking someone (versus simply doing it), if you can ask a personal question, shake a hand or hug is important. It gives you both an opportunity to establish boundaries to decrease the likelihood they’ll get crossed.
Too often, we discover each others boundaries once they’ve been crossed. Then there may be trust to repair etc.
Ask, Ask, Ask, and you will get into the habit of showing others how much you respect their needs, and boundaries.