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How to make adversity smell sweeter…
Physically, I feel miserable all the time. It’s due to chronic illness, MS and hEDS.
But I had an epiphany just now and want to share it with you. I’ve had flashes of this insight over the years. Though more in the peripheral vision of my mind.
It’s that the person I’m becoming, is a direct response to the adversity I’ve encountered throughout life.
Note, I didn’t say adversity I was “given”, I said “encountered”. To be given something suggestions it’s personal, and deliberate.
Whereas, encountered is though you stumbled upon each other. It isn’t personal, but it is the reality before me.
Since it isn’t personal I need’nt commit energy to questions like, “What did I do to deserve this?”
Sure, you may have had a hand in it. But a hand can’t function without the rest of the body.
There are a myriad of influences outside our control, that affect the course of our lives.
I don’t blame myself for my health. Though it’s a reality, and an opportunity. It’s the use I’ve made of the opportunity, that was the source of my epiphany.
The resistance and resentment I’ve felt over the years as my physical stamina and mobility left me, caused a suffering I wish to spare everyone.
What I understand clearly now. Is how the leverage these experiences placed upon my existing beliefs, showed they could not hold.
I needed to replace or refine my approach to life, or risk being crushed by the weight of the perceived injustice.
My response has been to learn to embrace patience. From go-go-go, to pause-breathe-observe.
Needing to be more patient with yourself, necessitates the blossoming of self-compassion as well. Like the scent of any flower when it blooms, it can’t help but share the aroma with everyone who encounters it. There’s that word “encountered”, again. Huh!
So it is with the patience and compassion I practice for myself daily. I can’t help but give it to others because it’s what I focus on giving myself, every moment of every day, of my life.
What do you practice giving yourself daily?
Of course I miss a bunch of moments here and there, and that’s when I become bitchy.
Alas, the reality of my poly-diagnostic health profile hath required me to adopt a more sensible attitude toward the management of my current affairs.
Now reread the previous sentence in a fancy British accent. Just being silly. ADHD, you understand.
I’m grateful for the person I am, and continue to become.
Having to slow down and introspect to such profound depths, granted me understanding of how to be more human, and how to be at home in my own skin.
That’s what I wanted to share with you.