Folks with ADHD could fall into a trap of feeling anxious while away from you, because they’re concerned if you can’t see them, you’re likely to forget about them.
This stems in part from all-or-nothing thinking that believes, “You think of me all the time or none of the time. There’s no in between.”
This is the same reason we forget we bought something. If you don’t frequently go into the cabinet or drawer it’s in, you may forget you have it.
SECRET: It’s also common to forget about people you haven’t talked to in a while because they aren’t top of mind. Until something reminds you they exist, then you scramble to figure out what to do. There’s a simple solution for this.
“You never spend time with me!” or “You never pay attention to me!” Sound familiar?
“Never” is the operative word. When you think in terms of “always” or “never”, you can’t get your needs met because they’re perfectionistic.
The key is to teach to virtue of “sometimes”, and the mindset that makes it the preferred way of thinking about things.
This is a big part of what we discuss in my N.E.W. Community.