Trouble making decisions?

standing on concrete with multiple arrows pointing in different directionsIndecision is one of the bigger gremlins I see Neurodivergents struggle with.
From whether to trust others, ask for help, or even whether to believe in themselves.
This is due in part to growing up being told most everything you’re doing is wrong.
It is also in part due to an unwillingness to consider more than all-or-nothing outcomes.
With that mindset you can only make good or bad, right or wrong decisions. There’s a lot on the line when you think that way.
In reality decisions are commitments to act toward an outcome.
The results of your action show you whether that action moves you closer or further from that outcome. You’re experimenting, not putting it all on the line.
Change how you see it, change how you feel it.
It’s your mind after all.


I wasn’t relieved when I was diagnosed…

May be a closeup of 2 people and text that says 'BRIAN CAN HE 1' report feeling relieved when they received their diagnosis (e.g. Autism, ADHD).
I didn’t. I was angry.
I thought about how different life could’ve been if I was helped instead of blamed or punished for my challenges.
I also felt extremely vulnerable.
I saw myself as typical, only to have the rug pulled out.
I felt like a fraud, like I’d have to get to know myself over again.
As I learned about the autism spectrum and ADHD, I learned about masking behavior.
Who I thought was the “typical” person I believed myself to be, was in fact my best attempt at an acceptable persona to please others.
When I realized how hard I’d been working to compensate and what I needed to care for my sensory and other needs, I began dismantling the persona.
There’s so much power and wisdom in your imperfect self. The more of the facade you’re able to drop, the freer and more at ease you can feel.
In my Inner Circle this unlearning is a core aspect of the work we do.