He’s going to be an adult someday so he may as well learn it now

Listen to this post ...
“He’s going to be an adult someday so he may as well learn it now.”
 
This is a concerning belief in the mind of many parents raising a child with neurodivergence (ND).
 
It demonstrates a fundamental misunderstanding about how our kids learn.
 
Believing a consequence needs to be harsh and effective the first time is punishment logic NOT problem solving.
 
Its important to teach our kids how to make better decisions, not simply how to feel bad for the decisions they’ve made.
 
We have an epidemic of shame and guilt in this world and it stems from beliefs like this. Shame and guilt primarily lead to changed behavior to avoid feeling more shame and guilt.
 
Is this what you want for your child?
 
Yes, our kids are going to be adults someday. That doesn’t mean they’re going to be adults tomorrow and today’s consequence better prepare them for being so.
 
It’s the parents own all or nothing thinking that believes a child needs to learn the lesson NOW, instead of as a process.
 
I live with an ND mind and am raising several children with ND. Our brains have difficulty processing, retaining and retrieving what we know.
 
Inconsistently applying what we know is the result of this glitchy web browser in our brains. It isn’t about defiance, disrespect or anything else you tell yourself to convince you its intentional.
 
Do you honestly believe your child lives to bring down as much pain upon themselves as possible.
 
Our kids learn best by learning to think through the situation you want them to become better at problem solving.
 
Not by lecturing and telling them what to do, that will not work. They need to be guided in solving the problem doing the thinking themselves.
 
I just taught the members of my Inner Circle how to do this.

Helping your neurodiverse child stop tuning you out

Listen to this post … Hoping our kids learn important lessons through lecture is a fruitless strategy. All your kid really gets better at is tuning you out. I’ve learned (especially with ND kids), introspection is a more powerful teacher. But ND kids tend to avoid introspection. Their self-consciousness and inner critic make it something they want to

Read More »

A useful way to manage anxiety

Listen to this post … Let me tell you something about anxiety. Anxiety is stored up energy for action you can’t take. When you fret about the past, thinking about how it should have gone, what you should’ve done – you’re suggesting to yourself another course of action is possible. Your subconscious mind thinks, “Yeah, let’s do

Read More »

Getting beyond RSD with ADHD

Listen to this post … I have an idea about RSD (Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria) experienced by many with ADHD. I’ve noticed those that experience it perceive relationships in an all or nothing way. You’re loved or unloved, given attention or ignored, you’re happy when they’re happy. When in a relationship it’s often co-dependent. Wanting constant access to the

Read More »

He’s going to be an adult someday so he may as well learn it now

Listen to this post … “He’s going to be an adult someday so he may as well learn it now.” This is a concerning belief in the mind of many parents raising a child with neurodivergence (ND). It demonstrates a fundamental misunderstanding about how our kids learn. Believing a consequence needs to be harsh and effective the first

Read More »

One tip for you that can transform how you think about life

Listen to this post … I have one tip for you that can transform how you think about life. I was talking to a friend this morning who was unaware just how disabled I am by my health conditions. She was surprised by how positive I was able to be regardless of the challenges I experience every

Read More »

A secret for becoming less reactive…

Listen to this post … I’m going to help you learn to be less reactive by teaching you something about how the Neurodiverse brain works that no one ever taught you.Conventional wisdom tells you you have the power to choose your thoughts. If you’re feeling a certain way, just change your thinking and all is

Read More »
%d bloggers like this: