Ever felt criticized for saying something in the wrong “tone”?
In your mind you knew it wasn’t a big deal. A misunderstanding, easy enough to correct.
But seemingly out of nowhere you find yourself sobbing and feeling worthless. It’s like that one criticism reminded you of how it felt every time you were criticized. Now you’re feeling all of them.
What the hell is going on?
In a neurodivergent brain such as yours. Especially if you have ADHD or Autism Spectrum Blips running around in there. Thoughts and feelings are experienced in an all or nothing, now or not now manner.
Even though many of those criticisms happened in the past. A brain experiencing time as now or not now feels like all the emotion is happening now.
If its all being felt now its all being expressed now. Sobbing, rage, panic, with little in between.
If you wanna break free of this trap start by recognizing the all or nothing aspect of your mind is a filter that isn’t giving you the full picture.
When your mind tells you, it’s either this or that, question it. Get into the habit of pausing and generating more options on your own or ideally with others.
It’s important to learn to understand experience as a continuum. Options offers us a continuum.
With our emotions, levels of intensity and how long it takes us to calm down exist on continuums as well. Learning what this means for you improves your ability to manage your emotions instead of being drown by them.
You can think of it as installing an internal emotional brake pedal to help you navigate those sharp turns so you don’t fly off the road.