As the mother of a Neurodiverse child, one skill you want your child to have is proactivity.
It’s difficult to teach if your child struggles with task initiation, future thinking, anxiety.
Here’s the gremlin to focus on to help remove the psychological barriers to taking charge of their life.
Common statements like:
“You didn’t tell me to”
“You didn’t remind me to”
“I’m too tired”
“I don’t feel good”
May be be true on occasion. They may also be code for, “I don’t wanna.”
“I don’t wanna feel the frustration of not knowing where to start.”
“I don’t wanna deal with mom’s impatience when I need to ask her multiple times to explain what she wants me to do.”
“I don’t wanna deal with the anxiety of messing up and having someone be angry with me.”
But if they said, “I don’t wanna”, in the first place it wouldn’t save them. So they need to say something else.
In time they may lose awareness of the true issue.
So you see what appears to be laziness or lack of motivation. But with an inner dialogue like that, it’s more a matter of self-preservation.
Encourage them to be honest with you. Ask them if it’s a matter of not wanting to.
If they own it, wonderful. Then we can have a conversation about overcoming specific concerns (e.g. boredom, executive function difficulty).
Through you we can help your child learn to be more compassionate and patient with themselves.
Help them become more comfortable and confident in asking for what they need.
Learn to develop reciprocal, healthy relationships.
Help you find belonging in a community of women who “get it”, and help you find peace of mind.
Where there’s a we there’s a way. Here is the way.