Not thinking before blurting out an embarrassing comment. Doing things that upset others as a matter of habit, only to regret them later.The seeming inability to learn from any of this is a hallmark of ADHD. I used to get in so much trouble because of this.
The reason for impulsivity (as I understand it) in ADHD is two fold. The brain processes information more slowly. So the information you’re likely responding to is a bit behind.
I remember being corrected in class for commenting on something when the class had already moved on. Or continuing to talk about something when the person I was with was becoming upset because I was slow to catch on.
The second issue is that the brakes needed for stopping are faulty. So the STOP part of stop and think needs strengthening, like building a muscle.
One way to strengthen this muscle is by requiring yourself to consciously pause. Breathing techniques like box breathing are great for this.
The directions are straight forward…
You inhale for 4 secondsHold your breath for 4 secondsExhale for 4 secondsHold your breath for 4 secondsInhale for four seconds and repeat cycle for 5 minutes.Box breathing is great on its own for relaxation or preventing anxiety attacks. Where it helps with impulsivity is when you hold your breath.
It gives your brain a chance to practice stopping and experiencing it as desirable. You’re consciously choosing to stop, repeatedly and you’re motivated to do it.
Practicing this increases wiring in the areas of the brain that need it. It also increases your awareness and ability to deliberately pause with a breath.
If all you learn is to count to 4 before responding, that’s a win. Just make sure you think.
I teach the women in my Inner Circle strategies like this to help themselves and their children living with neurodiversity.
