I can’t snap out of “ADHD” and it hurts to ask me to

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Telling someone to “snap out of it” when it comes to their ADHD is one of the most hurtful things a spouse can say.
 
I read a post from a young wife this morning struggling to explain her challenges to her husband while awaiting final diagnosis for ADHD.
 
Of course many parents have shown similar resistance to their child’s diagnosis. So what gives?
 
👉 Is it fear your loved one will be considered different?
👉 Fear YOU failed if you can’t fix it?
👉 Afraid how it’ll make YOU (the partner look)?
 
Maybe it’s fear about your partner/child?
 
👉 Does it put them at increased risk in the world?
👉 What if I’m not up to this as their spouse/parent?
👉 What if I screw up and make things worse?
 
All kinds of things go through a person’s head when someone they care about is given a diagnosis.
 
Some of it can appear selfish on the surface. Some of it may be protective for a mind having difficulty grasping its role may be about to change dramatically.
 
Some of it can be old fashioned helplessness when faced with a big unknown.
 
Both sides require patience, understanding and honest communication about your hopes and fears.
 
If in the end if you’re able to work together – you win.

Can you be a little mentally ill?

Listen to this post … Think of it this way.Say you gently poke your skin with a needle. You feel a slight pain. One that isn’t going to let up as long as the needle is there. But you could keep going if you had to. Though it would be hard.The needle is mental illness.Now

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There’s no such thing as a stupid question

Listen to this post … There is no such thing as a stupid question when you live with neurodiversity. I read an email from my son’s school this morning about registering him for classes for the next term. It listed the instructions on how to do it, but guess what happened? I began reading it

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You can be sick and happy

Listen to this post … I work with many chronically ill teens.I make clear to them they can feel sick and happy.I have yet to experience anything that keeps you aware of the interplay of life’s opposites like chronic illness does.Working to find that sweet spot between pain and comfort, exhausted and rested.It’s often hard

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Thank goodness for second chances

You’ll have your share of naysayers when you’re neurodivergent. When I first enrolled in the Social Work Program, I had a professor who didn’t like me. She went out of her way to try and get me to drop out of the program. It was the early 1990’s and about a decade before I’d learn

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When Facebook wants you to friend a childhood bully

Facebook just recommend I friend someone who literally used to torment me when we were kids. We have FB friends in common it seems. I felt anger at first as I looked at his face. I tried to see evidence of that kid I resented so much. I couldn’t see him. I didn’t know the

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Self-care is about more than getting enough rest

Listen to this post … Self-care isn’t simply about taking care of the parts of you that take care of everyone else. It’s about so much more.  It’s about taking care of the “self”, who you are, what fills you up and makes you feel most alive.  I focus on the self-care that strengthens the

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