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One of my parenting hacks is a way to help establish buy in from your children when it comes to accepting consequences.The basic thinking is this. When you explain specifically that a certain behavior results in a predictable consequence, then it is solely within your child’s power to prevent it. Basic cause and effect, right.
There’s more. It’s also an agreement between you and your child. An agreement that if they “choose” to practice a certain behavior, you “promise” to deliver a specific consequence. Your child acknowledges their understanding of this “agreement”.
The promise you make to them is to follow through and deliver the consequence should they choose the behavior with full knowledge of the consequence.
The reason you follow through isn’t because you’re a mean parent, it’s because you value trust in your relationship with your child and trust comes from keeping your promises, honoring your agreements.
You promised a consequence and you don’t want them to see you as a liar so you’re keeping your promise. Tell them this with sincerity if they object to the consequence.
When you’re consistent with this approach you’ll likely see your child soften when you deliver consequences. They become more reflective knowing your intentions are about connecting with them not taking from them.
With my own boys, the time came when I wouldn’t have to say much.
I’d acknowledge they’re behavior and remind them of our agreement. They’d hand me the electronic device, etc knowing what the agreement was and why it was important to keep it.
Trust. No fuss, just integrity.
Parenting is bumpy, and it’s more important for your child to know they can trust you than it is for them to be happy with you.
