When getting started is difficult to do

Listen to this post ...
As someone with ADHD, do you find it hard to get started on some tasks?
 
I do too.
 
In talking with clients I’ve discovered different reasons for this.
 
1. You don’t know what the first step is and you’re afraid to ask because you don’t want to look dumb.
 
2. You aren’t confident in your ability to be successful with the task so you don’t want to try.
 
3. You’re afraid of the feelings that come with making mistakes because you don’t handle them well.
 
4. Similar to #2 is perfectionism. If you can’t be guaranteed it’ll go perfectly you don’t want to do it.
 
Please tell me if I’ve missed one.
 
Here’s the hard truth my friend. It’s hard to move forward in life when you can’t get started.
 
It’s difficult to do though when experience has taught you that starting can be a dangerous thing.
 
Fortunately, I have a solution for you. Learn to replace fear with curiosity. It’s something I teach members in my community how to do.
 
Instead of dreading what could happen you’re eager to find out what could happen. Matters of physical safety excluded of course.
 
The reasons for not getting started I’ve listed above are based on the belief that only the “right” answer is worthy of praise.
 
That’s been drilled into our heads since we were kids. You’ve been trained to criticize yourself when you make mistakes because that’s what you received.
 
But there’s hope. You can learn to have a new, more compassionate conversation with yourself. One that is understanding and forgiving.
 
It’ll cheer you on and believes in your ability to learn from the less than perfect moments. Moments that can be more important to your growth and learning than when things go perfectly.
 
Wanna learn more, let me know.

Can you be a little mentally ill?

Listen to this post … Think of it this way.Say you gently poke your skin with a needle. You feel a slight pain. One that isn’t going to let up as long as the needle is there. But you could keep going if you had to. Though it would be hard.The needle is mental illness.Now

Read More »

There’s no such thing as a stupid question

Listen to this post … There is no such thing as a stupid question when you live with neurodiversity. I read an email from my son’s school this morning about registering him for classes for the next term. It listed the instructions on how to do it, but guess what happened? I began reading it

Read More »

You can be sick and happy

Listen to this post … I work with many chronically ill teens.I make clear to them they can feel sick and happy.I have yet to experience anything that keeps you aware of the interplay of life’s opposites like chronic illness does.Working to find that sweet spot between pain and comfort, exhausted and rested.It’s often hard

Read More »

Thank goodness for second chances

You’ll have your share of naysayers when you’re neurodivergent. When I first enrolled in the Social Work Program, I had a professor who didn’t like me. She went out of her way to try and get me to drop out of the program. It was the early 1990’s and about a decade before I’d learn

Read More »

When Facebook wants you to friend a childhood bully

Facebook just recommend I friend someone who literally used to torment me when we were kids. We have FB friends in common it seems. I felt anger at first as I looked at his face. I tried to see evidence of that kid I resented so much. I couldn’t see him. I didn’t know the

Read More »

Self-care is about more than getting enough rest

Listen to this post … Self-care isn’t simply about taking care of the parts of you that take care of everyone else. It’s about so much more.  It’s about taking care of the “self”, who you are, what fills you up and makes you feel most alive.  I focus on the self-care that strengthens the

Read More »
%d bloggers like this: