My oldest son attempted Suicide twice and almost succeeded the first time. He spent a week in ICU.
He lives with ADHD, Asperger’s and dyslexia like I do.
As a parent I had to own my role in exacerbating an already difficult situation because of my own denial etc., about how he was struggling.
It isn’t easy for any parent to admit that the way they parent may have been harmful to their child in some way.
We make mistakes, we’re human. We must own this and be mindful of it.
I overestimated myself as someone highly regarded in the parenting space, I forget how being so close to the situation muddies your perspective.
It was like a wake up call where an elephant jumps on your head.
It’s taken a lot of work to heal things between my son and I, but things are great now.
One of the biggest changes I needed to make was allowing myself to hear when I was getting it wrong.
To allow my sons to tell me, so we could discuss it. Then I could adjust and grow when needed.
Another big change came from regularly talking to other parents about parenting.
Comparing notes, struggles and successes in this grand experiment of child rearing can be life changing.
You get so bound up by the confines of your own shoulds, anxieties, biases, patterns and such.
Having outside perspectives is essential for introducing you to new strategies your current way of seeing things won’t ever let you see on your own.
I work with a community of parents, many of whom have watched their relationships with their children transform from combative to cooperative.
We have each other’s backs and don’t judge one another for bad days. We support each other through them.
Now more than ever you as a parent need all the support you can get. I can provide it all remotely.
Shoot me a message to learn more.