On one particular day, a more slender wrestler named Roy (not his real name), was paired against a more accomplished wrestler, Tom and was nervous about his chances. I encouraged Roy to do his best.

Tom, was fast, strong and twisted Roy in a variety of ways in an effort to pin him. All the while Roy fought to keep one shoulder up until the end so he couldn’t be pinned.

In the end Tom was victorious and they were both out of breath from giving their all.

As Roy left the mat I congratulated him on a great match.

“But I lost,” he said.

“You also didn’t quit,” I replied. “Every second you were out there you made him work for it. Even if you didn’t think you were going to win, you sure weren’t going to lose without a fight.”

A half smile creeped up on his face as he said, “I guess so. Thanks.”

When things are hard you can mistakenly focus on the fact it’s been hard. That’s only part of the story. You also got through it.

You got through it because you persevered, you believe things can be better, that you’re worth fighting for, that if you made it through today you can make it through tomorrow too.

When you’re a mother struggling with the overwhelm of a special needs child, the fruits of your labor can be a study in delayed gratification.

Sometimes your child learns a lesson the 1000th time and unfortunately, sometimes never. But you don’t quit.

You work so hard, just to get through each day sometimes. That is a win worthy of recognition.

This is one part survival, one part revolutionary.

It’s revolutionary because you can conceive of a world where your child is as successful as any other when the odds are stacked against them. That’s as terrifying as it is invigorating so don’t take it on alone.

Let’s continue to hold each others hands, especially on those days it’s harder to stand back up on our own.

This is where a close community of people who “get it” can be your greatest strength. I have such a community, if you’re interested…