We all do things that aren’t good for us, right?
There’s no real harm as long as it’s in moderation, right?
It’s really a matter of degree. Is that thing in moderation a Twinkie or a shot of Heroin? Is it volunteering on occasion or codependency?
Self-sabotage is a very human thing to do. It’s part of our protective instinct that mitigates risk taking. It also prevents us from doing things that remind us of our insecurities.
Insecurities based on judgments we learned to make of ourselves long ago. Is it your mom or your dad?
Be careful not to think that you’re condemned to do these self sabotaging habits forever. Your tendencies are not your destiny.
You have things you want to do in life, qualities you want to embody as a human being and habits that stand in the way.
You can absolutely take steps to get them out of your way so you get different results.
The patterns, behavior, attitudes modeled for you by your parents and other adults are expressions of the values they’ve chosen to practice based on how they believe the world works. Call it a worldview.
Not every worldview is created alike, with the same level of flexibility, curiosity, compassion, etc.
My and your parents have their share of fears and insecurities and it shows in their worldview, remember that.
It’s up to you to decide to question the pieces of their perspectives that cause you pain and suffering.
They may serve a purpose in their view of the world but you’re under no obligation to add that piece to your puzzle. Make your world your own.
You are being reborn every moment as you engage life and it helps mold you. The people and experiences bring forth qualities that wouldn’t have come forth otherwise.
It’s difficult for you to enjoy yourself in the moment when you keep comparing yourself to the painful perception planted by the poisonous pill of parental projection.
The negative things you believe to be true about yourself is as real as the smoke from the dragon’s mouth. It soon disperses and you soon stop coughing.
But I suggest you stop seeking approval from the dragon.
Learn to love you.