My life has to be about so much more than what my body can do.
That’s what I’m thinking as I lie awake. A storm is rolling in as I’m waiting for the marijuana to kick in and easy the pain so I can go to sleep.
I’ve fought back against the physical decline of my health for years. I wanted my story to be a comeback.
I’m realizing that is unlikely.
I’ve tried dozens of things over the years. Everything from copper socks, supplements, lifestyle changes, etc.
With some of those options I felt small, short lived improvement.
What I have yet to discover, is the acceptance that my body isn’t getting better. But I’m getting there.
That doesn’t mean I’m giving up on it. I’m just means I’m changing my relationship with it.
I’ve been a relentless drill sergeant in my own head. On myself for not finding a way to continue doing all the things I once could.
I’m going to reflect instead on the idea that the physically able and active chapter of my life is wrapping up.
What’s next is no doubt deeply spiritual and a practice of profound self compassion.
My head and my heart have always been my strongest muscles any way.
Best of all I can keep working with all the Moms I live to serve.
