Month: July 2020

Are you grateful for yourself?

It’s common for people to be grateful for things they own, experiences they’ve had or people who show up for them.

What’s less common, but so important, is to be grateful for WHO you are.

You can acknowledge to yourself, “I’m grateful for my patience in this situation.”

“I’m grateful I chose to be kind to this person.”

In this culture we are taught that something measured (e.g. closing a deal, completing a list) is worthy of celebration.

Being grateful for things about you that reflect your decency and humanity isn’t selfish or self-centered. It is, however, self-aware.

Self-awareness determines how well you understand what motivates you. What you’re good at and where you need help. It also determines your sense of responsibility for making any necessary changes.

I’m telling you right now that WHO you are. Practiced deliberately and consistently. Gives greater power to everything you do because it’s backed by purpose.

You can accomplish this by making note in the moment or in writing. Train your awareness to notice examples of compassion, generosity, inclusion or simply minding your own business.

You don’t have to be perfect, just be as consistent as you can be.

So at the end of each day, especially in the moment. You can be grateful for who you are, regardless of how things went otherwise.

“I feel insignificant,” he said to me just now.

As I explored this statement I learned something interesting.

It turned out he’s extremely bored. COVID has left us with few options to add more variety to our routines.

His boredom led to frustration. Frustration with the situation, the state of the world and his inability to do anything about it.

To him, feeling insignificant means not having the power to change the present state of things.

So we’re going to start with the library and find more alternatives to screens.

It’s easy to get stuck in a rut though isn’t it?

Things keep finding their way onto your list of to do’s. Even though you should feel productive you feel like you can’t get ahead.

Too much routine becomes monotonous and doesn’t satisfy a curious mind like yours. You can find the much needed contrast in a book, a conversation with a good friend, exploring nature.

Your adventure is waiting for you.

Mom, two steps back is a beautiful way to succeed…

You know the expression, “One step forward, two steps back.” You feel like you’re getting somewhere then experience a setback.

How do you handle those moments, do you hope no one saw it?

I suggest we focus on the forward and back as the teacher of this lesson.

Progress and setback/stepback are such a common experience because both are necessary for progress.

It’s hard to get back up if you never fall.

If you’ve ever fished you know that you occasionally need to put slack in the line when you’re reeling in a strong fish. Otherwise your line could snap.

You reel it in a bit (one step forward), allow for slack (2 steps back).

When you want to see something up close (1 step forward), or create a little distance to get a big picture view (2 steps back).

When you dance with a partner you aren’t always leading, you may not know the dance or like the music.

Kinda like life. Life is your partner and leads you in all sorts of directions. You dance, one step forward, two steps back. Then maybe five steps forward and one step back.

You get the idea, yes?

Progress is linear only in the perfectionists mind.

You see this while trying to be the best parent, spouse or friend.

Something that works great today may not work tomorrow. Keep dancing.

If you’re self-conscious and think things go wrong because of you, you’re missing the big picture.

Take two steps back and check the big picture. The big picture takes into consideration the fact there are more things out of your control than in your control in any situation.

You’re doing the best you can without the skills of a Broadway dancer.

Fortunately, you don’t need to be a Juilliard graduate to dance with life.

You just need to be teachable, humble and flexible. Flexible enough to learn your unique rythym.

When you need to push (one step forward) and rest (two steps back).

Find your balance so you don’t snap like a fishing line.

The Moms in my Inner Circle make great strides in finding better balance without any guilt.

You’re welcome to join us https://bit.ly/2Y3uG9q

How quickly can you go from zero to catastrophe in your thinking?

It’s an ever present source of anxiety isn’t it?

What you likely aren’t aware of is that catastrophe is only one side of the coin. The other side is opportunity.

In fact, let’s reframe how we see the coin. Instead of heads or tails, think head or heart.

Do you lead with your head more than your heart (what are the consequences)?

How do you balance the two in order to avoid the crazy making you put yourself through?

Begin by realizing the head and heart are a partnership not a competition and balance is the order of the day.

The head demands planning and knowing. The heart desires curiosity and learning.

If you go catastrophic it’s because you’re seeing the perfection/planning side of the coin while forgetting it’s partnership with the imperfection/learning side.

Here’s how the partnership looks in action…

Imperfection – Mistake, Adjust, Mistake, Tweak, BINGO!

(Flip the coin)

Perfect♥️ IT WORKS!

Make sense?

Letting go of catastrophic thinking requires you to see perfect and imperfect as inseparable.

Gifting you with a reliable, repeatable path for discovering what works to create a life you’re happy with.

I can guide you in how to master this way of thinking. Just ask me…

On a scale from Zen Master (1) – Chicken Little (10), how much anxiety do you pack into a typical day?

It doesn’t help that you can’t rest when you need to, someone always needs something.

You make all the appointments, run the errands because no one else has time, etc.

The hamster wheel existence of today’s mom has a key feature that Moms everywhere have a right to declare.

The right to say, “No” without guilt.

I was talking about this on a call with the Moms in my Inner Circle.

Something they’ve learned to let go of is the idea that giving to yourself is taking from someone else.

You don’t buy anything for yourself because one of the kids may need something.

I’ll tell you a secret. The person with the most love to give, is the person who first loves herself.

Of course being loved by others is great and essential for your well being.

But if you don’t love yourself, you won’t allow love from others into your heart. Like being ashamed to invite a stranger into your home.

A Mom who has learned to love and respect her own needs is more confident, compassionate and calm.

The calm is a big one. It shows you have the peace of mind of knowing where your responsibility ends.

It makes it easier to close your eyes at night knowing that the things that matter most are the things that get your time and attention.

Other things are delegated and in some cases let go completely.

Sound too utopian. The Moms in my group do it. Of course it took time and a lot of personal responsibility.

🌱 They learned to spot their inner nag and all the critical beliefs she had about what to do and how to do it.

🌱 They learned to allow those thoughts to pass through their minds without being upset by them.

That’s a powerfully, freeing ability to have, wouldn’t you say?

It’s about more than the right mindset or best strategies.

It requires the fundamental understanding that the work that is “you” never ends.

You’re a perpetual work in progress and the only finish line is a deadline (pun intended).

When you understand that truth, you can have infinite patience with yourself.

You can’t win or lose in the comparison game when the rules state you can not go faster than the speed of life.

That means, this moment, is your sandbox. You can build with the sand or be buried in it.

Or you can simply play. Feel it running through your fingers or between your toes.

It’s neat how you can enjoy something without having to control it.

Apply to join my Inner Circle and we’ll show you how to find your peace of mind… https://brianraymondking.com/programs/

Do you know that worry can give you the feeling you have a lot of responsibility, when you actually don’t.

You fret, fuss and focus on a host of things out of your control. You don’t organize or prioritize them so they end up feeling like they’re happening all at once.

You masochistically pride yourself on being able to keep everything in your head, so you rarely, if ever, write things down.

This is at the expense of focus, efficiency and the experience of joy in what you’re doing.

You only have enough brainpower to focus on the task of it instead of the experience of it.

All because you refuse to write down everything else in your head so you don’t also have to remember it.

Why do you do this?

In part, because at some point you decided everything that goes wrong is your fault but everything that goes right is due to luck.

Do you really believe you were put on this Earth to burn bridges instead of building them.

You won’t suddenly feel good enough by declaring yourself General Manager of the Universe.

If it was your responsibility it would be in your control.

Your life is happening while your mind is everywhere but here.

Let go of the business that isn’t yours, so what remains is yours to enjoy completely.

Let’s talk about how I can help you achieve this…