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One mistake many parents and professionals make is assuming people with ADHD/ASD are interested in changing to improve their lives.
It isn’t that they don’t want to change, it’s often that they don’t believe they’re able to create the necessary changes to make the effort worth it.
We’re talking about folks who often have difficulty finishing what they start, if they get started at all. They struggle with creating an action plan let alone executing on one.
People with this much difficulty can end up with such brutal self-talk they believe themselves to be stupid, incompetent, worthless etc.
One of the first things to establish with any person living with ADHD/ASD you’ve been entrusted to help – is their mindset. What are their beliefs about change and how to best make it happen?
1. Is change something they want?
2. Do they believe they are capable of making the change(s) they want?
3. If things were more like they wanted them to be, what would be different?
4. What one thing could they do to begin making that change?
5. What do they need to believe about themselves in order to take that first action?
6. Do they agree to act as if what they believed what was stated in #5 is true?
7. Do they agree to take the new action and report back?
How they respond to this exercise will tell you a lot about how flexible their thinking is, their level of self-doubt etc. Do they think they must do it alone instead of with help?
The objective is to introduce the idea of change in a different way because of the questions you ask. Give this a go with yourself and/or someone else and let me know what comes up.