Healing is the key to reducing future hurt

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Holding on to past hurts doesn’t protect you from being hurt again. What it does do is keep the hurt alive. It erodes trust, sabotaging your ability to love and be loved.

You know what protects you from being hurt? Nothing! Hurt happens.

What is available to you is the wisdom that feeling hurt puts you in touch with. A deeper part of yourself is opened up to you.

It connects you with your sense of self worth, your need for love and connection and your need for certainty.

Hurt has a lot to teach you, foremost is that even though you hurt you’re still good enough.

Hurt is an experience of loss but not loss of your value as a human being.

It needs to be felt, grieved and in all other ways worked through to mine it’s riches.

Yes, mining those riches can be a real bitch.

It doesn’t happen in one sitting or with equal intensity. It can require anywhere from an ugly cry to a simple acknowledgement that you’re still experiencing some hurt but it’s less intense than it was.

Bit by bit you do the work of learning to feel safe in your body, mind, relationships and the world.

In so doing you embrace the courage to love again, to live more fully.

You know that hurt happens, you also know how to relate to your hurt as a teacher so you can welcome it instead of being shamed by it.

Can you be a little mentally ill?

Listen to this post … Think of it this way.Say you gently poke your skin with a needle. You feel a slight pain. One that isn’t going to let up as long as the needle is there. But you could keep going if you had to. Though it would be hard.The needle is mental illness.Now

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There’s no such thing as a stupid question

Listen to this post … There is no such thing as a stupid question when you live with neurodiversity. I read an email from my son’s school this morning about registering him for classes for the next term. It listed the instructions on how to do it, but guess what happened? I began reading it

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You can be sick and happy

Listen to this post … I work with many chronically ill teens.I make clear to them they can feel sick and happy.I have yet to experience anything that keeps you aware of the interplay of life’s opposites like chronic illness does.Working to find that sweet spot between pain and comfort, exhausted and rested.It’s often hard

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Thank goodness for second chances

You’ll have your share of naysayers when you’re neurodivergent. When I first enrolled in the Social Work Program, I had a professor who didn’t like me. She went out of her way to try and get me to drop out of the program. It was the early 1990’s and about a decade before I’d learn

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When Facebook wants you to friend a childhood bully

Facebook just recommend I friend someone who literally used to torment me when we were kids. We have FB friends in common it seems. I felt anger at first as I looked at his face. I tried to see evidence of that kid I resented so much. I couldn’t see him. I didn’t know the

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Self-care is about more than getting enough rest

Listen to this post … Self-care isn’t simply about taking care of the parts of you that take care of everyone else. It’s about so much more.  It’s about taking care of the “self”, who you are, what fills you up and makes you feel most alive.  I focus on the self-care that strengthens the

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