A wave of grief just hit me. I realized how many people I’m having to let go of to heal.
Thousands of social media connections I have no communication with. I felt a twinge of guilt with each unfriend or unfollow.
Likely the codependent in me thinking I should’ve done more to make it work.
I’ve lost business, that always hurts and beyond the financial part.
There are people from my past I’ve hung on to for so long. Haunted by the deep failure I feel for each exgirlfriend and one espouse, each of whom eventually grew bored with me.
One by one I need to tell the memory of them, “Even though we didn’t last, I’m still good enough and so are you.”
People in my family for whom I’ve longed for a relationship but for whatever reason we remain distant. I have to let that go.
I see that as each of them is released, I’ll be able to see YOU more clearly.
You who are in my life now. Supporting me in this moment.
My collection of woulda, coulda and shouldas are gonna be flushed down the shitter. Some of em might need more than one flush.
I’m looking forward to getting to know you better the more present I become with you.