You don’t have to keep everything you’re offered

Listen to this post ...

As an adult with ADHD, growing up in an unsupportive system with parents who didn’t know any better can result in:

✔️A crippling lack of confidence
✔️Low self esteem
✔️Anxiety and
✔️The feeling you’re not good enough and less deserving than other people

What if I told you that one thing connecting all those feelings was the belief that if you did something wrong the first time it meant you were a failure.

What if I also told you that shifting your expectation from perfection to curiosity could help liberate you from this suffering.

Instead of hoping, praying and fretting over the need for things to work so you can avoid external and internal (worst of all) criticism.

You instead treat new opportunities like trick or treating. The reveal to see what you’ve gotten is what it’s about.

Once you’ve got it you can decide whether it unlocks an opportunity or deepens the hole you’re in.

You see, what you’ve been given is an “offer” not a commitment. You don’t need to keep it, internalize it and make it part of you. Understand?

Now that it’s in your keep you have a choice to make. You can focus on feelings of disappointment and feel this way for the next 20-30 years as you keep repeating the pattern.

Or you can pick your favorite candies and offer the rest to those who like the things you don’t.

You don’t have to eat all you’re given or believe everything you’ve been told by people who knew what was best for them and worked to convince you it was best for you too.

They didn’t know any better.

Yes, climbing back from what feels like rock bottom can be a daunting task. But imagine how strong you’ll be when you reach the surface again.

The choice is yours.

Looking for help with this? Send me a quick message.

Can you be a little mentally ill?

Listen to this post … Think of it this way.Say you gently poke your skin with a needle. You feel a slight pain. One that isn’t going to let up as long as the needle is there. But you could keep going if you had to. Though it would be hard.The needle is mental illness.Now

Read More »

There’s no such thing as a stupid question

Listen to this post … There is no such thing as a stupid question when you live with neurodiversity. I read an email from my son’s school this morning about registering him for classes for the next term. It listed the instructions on how to do it, but guess what happened? I began reading it

Read More »

You can be sick and happy

Listen to this post … I work with many chronically ill teens.I make clear to them they can feel sick and happy.I have yet to experience anything that keeps you aware of the interplay of life’s opposites like chronic illness does.Working to find that sweet spot between pain and comfort, exhausted and rested.It’s often hard

Read More »

Thank goodness for second chances

You’ll have your share of naysayers when you’re neurodivergent. When I first enrolled in the Social Work Program, I had a professor who didn’t like me. She went out of her way to try and get me to drop out of the program. It was the early 1990’s and about a decade before I’d learn

Read More »

When Facebook wants you to friend a childhood bully

Facebook just recommend I friend someone who literally used to torment me when we were kids. We have FB friends in common it seems. I felt anger at first as I looked at his face. I tried to see evidence of that kid I resented so much. I couldn’t see him. I didn’t know the

Read More »

Self-care is about more than getting enough rest

Listen to this post … Self-care isn’t simply about taking care of the parts of you that take care of everyone else. It’s about so much more.  It’s about taking care of the “self”, who you are, what fills you up and makes you feel most alive.  I focus on the self-care that strengthens the

Read More »
%d bloggers like this: