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“I don’t feel ready.”
“Ok, I’m ready!”
Ready! Is that even possible?
In the conventional sense being ready means you feel fully prepared to take action toward a goal, dream or desire.
As someone with ADHD you may scratch your head when you hear someone declare, “I’m ready!” Then proceed to execute what appears to be a flawless or nearly so, execution.
Yes, sure, you have your moments. When you’re hyperfocused, in the flow so to speak, that you feel everything coming together and rarely does the thought of failure enter your mind.
But whereas everyone else appears to experience the feeling of being “ready” in multiple areas of life. You experience it seemingly in a more random way.
What gives?
The ingredients of ready (as I understand it and in random order), are preparation, trust, concentration, resilience and support.
Preparation is about rehearsal. How many times have you been down this road before? Do you think and feel as though you have practiced enough? Do you believe what you’re about to do has become habit such that you can execute it successfully.
You need to trust your abilities are good enough to at least get started. Since creating a plan is difficult for you, your first step is often a leap of faith because your ability to create additional steps is shoddy.
It can feel like building a suspension bridge as you’re walking across it.
Often lack of trust that your abilities will carry you beyond the first step makes the idea of taking the first step appear even more dangerous.
Concentration is an unknown because your ability to focus is so flighty. Unexpected distractions could cause your momentum to implode like Jenga.
You’re well aware of this and through sheer will try to force yourself to concentrate only to wear yourself out. That fatigue of course, sabotages your concentration even more.
Let’s say you take action regardless of these uncertainties.
Are you prepared to fall and be seen doing it?
Are you prepared to embrace the fall with a feeling of curiosity?
To tuck that piece of experience in the, “good to know for next time” section of your experience.
THEN, are you prepared to get back up and keep moving forward? That’s a demonstration of your resilience. The ability to bounce forward after a fall.
None of this happens in a vacuum. Without support, having someone who believes in you, all of this can seem too big a risk to take alone.
However, when you live with ADHD, your haphazard string of inconsistencies may make finding someone who believes in you difficult to find.
What do you do then?
Find a community of people who “get you” and believe in you because they’ve walked a similar road.
Our community of women with ADHD are stronger together and that’s why they grow more quickly than they likely would if they chose to go it alone.
I can’t tell you what it feels like to be ready. I can tell you, that having the support of people who believe in you can make it feel safer to go after your dreams. Ready or not.
