What do you have to lose?

Listen to this post ...

No photo description available.

What’s in it for me?

A common question when presented with an opportunity. Here’s the issue.

Gaining something isn’t the always the ideal outcome of an opportunity.

Losing may be what you’re actually looking to experience.

For example, I meditate every day to reinforce my capacity for equanimity.

I also do it to shed any tendency to emotionally react to things.

When I became a parent I learned to let go of many things to stop driving myself crazy with self doubt and criticism.

I invite you to share things you had to let go of to be a more effective parent:

Knowing everything – our heads are loaded with opinions supercharged by emotion. When the emotion is stirred we vomit opinions all over our kids in the least effective way. Virtually guaranteeing we’ll be dismissed as irrational by our kids.

Drama – Worst case scenarios are useful for helping you to see how out of hand a worry driven imagination can become. But when used to try and instill fear, e.g. “If you stay on this path you’re gonna end up blah, blah, blah.”

These scenarios can seem unrealistic to a young kid with no point of reference to help them appreciate what you’re talking about.

What is a good teacher is natural consequences.

Rescuing – I set myself up for a huge fall when I believed I could protect my boys from pain and suffering.

You simply can’t protect your child from the human condition or naive, short sighted, often impulsive decisions kids make.

Your adult brain functions at a different level of emotional maturity (hopefully) and self discipline than your child.

You’ve achieved that in part due to simple biology. Which means, your child’s brain isn’t as developed as yours so don’t make the mistake of thinking your child can simply grow up, so to speak.

Being the Hero – I used to want to impress my boys and everyone else for that matter. That was my ego and insecurities talking.

Nowadays I want to model how much more fully you can experience life by just being human.

By letting go of the fear of taking risks and replacing it with a yearning for discovery and growth.

Show your kids how to learn and grow instead of demanding it.

I think you’ll like those results better.

Helping your neurodiverse child stop tuning you out

Listen to this post … Hoping our kids learn important lessons through lecture is a fruitless strategy. All your kid really gets better at is tuning you out. I’ve learned (especially with ND kids), introspection is a more powerful teacher. But ND kids tend to avoid introspection. Their self-consciousness and inner critic make it something they want to

Read More »

A useful way to manage anxiety

Listen to this post … Let me tell you something about anxiety. Anxiety is stored up energy for action you can’t take. When you fret about the past, thinking about how it should have gone, what you should’ve done – you’re suggesting to yourself another course of action is possible. Your subconscious mind thinks, “Yeah, let’s do

Read More »

Getting beyond RSD with ADHD

Listen to this post … I have an idea about RSD (Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria) experienced by many with ADHD. I’ve noticed those that experience it perceive relationships in an all or nothing way. You’re loved or unloved, given attention or ignored, you’re happy when they’re happy. When in a relationship it’s often co-dependent. Wanting constant access to the

Read More »

He’s going to be an adult someday so he may as well learn it now

Listen to this post … “He’s going to be an adult someday so he may as well learn it now.” This is a concerning belief in the mind of many parents raising a child with neurodivergence (ND). It demonstrates a fundamental misunderstanding about how our kids learn. Believing a consequence needs to be harsh and effective the first

Read More »

One tip for you that can transform how you think about life

Listen to this post … I have one tip for you that can transform how you think about life. I was talking to a friend this morning who was unaware just how disabled I am by my health conditions. She was surprised by how positive I was able to be regardless of the challenges I experience every

Read More »

A secret for becoming less reactive…

Listen to this post … I’m going to help you learn to be less reactive by teaching you something about how the Neurodiverse brain works that no one ever taught you.Conventional wisdom tells you you have the power to choose your thoughts. If you’re feeling a certain way, just change your thinking and all is

Read More »
%d bloggers like this: