How to be more mentally resilient

I’ve seen the term “mental toughness” being tossed around and written about for years but hadn’t looked into it at length. A cursory overview showed that the word “tough” was being used instead of or synonymously with the word “resilient.” THAT’S a word that resonates with me. Let’s go with that.

Darwin is often misquoted as believing that “only the strong survive” or in “survival of the fittest.” These statements have been perverted into a belief in the supremacy of physical toughness or strength. Where are those dinosaurs again?  

“It is not the strongest of the species that survive, nor the most intelligent, but the one most responsive to change.” – Charles Darwin 

Responsiveness to change results from resourcefulness, flexibility and adaptability on your part. It requires the desire to question, learn and grow. 

How are you doing with this?

This is a subject explored over and over on deeper levels in my client coaching groups, but for you and I, here, I’ll keep it short and sweet.  

Regardless of what life throws at you, your ability to outlast and attain even greater resilience, in the end, requires a minimum of these three ingredients.

1. You got through it (whether you got past it is another story). 

Recognize that you have experienced challenges before. During which you may have declared, “I don’t know how I’m going to get through this. But somehow you did. Give yourself credit for those successes. 

2. You found happiness again.

You found your way back to a smile again. You allowed yourself to enjoy
life. The lotus must climb through and above the mud to reach the sun.

3. You did it with the support of other people. 

You must realize and accept that the cultural belief in “doing it by yourself” 
can be very harmful in this instance. It robs you of resources.  

We learn best through experience tempered by the wisdom of those who have
gone before us an succeeded. There’s no reward for reinventing the wheel
when you could lean on others and cut your suffering time substantially.  

I recorded a video on these three ingredients if you want to watch it here.  

That’s all for now.

What am I supposed to be learning right now?

When you’re going through a rough patch, What’s the first thing you tell yourself about what it means?

The past week has been rough for me healthwise. I fear my MS Is progressing more rapidly than I would like. This is despite my efforts to exercise daily and radically improve my diet.
 
I’m a little frightened and feeling discouraged. I realize, however, that staying in this place doesn’t produce the kind of thinking I want to live in. 

While listening to a conversation this morning between colleagues. I heard this question posed, “It’s important to ask yourself during difficult times, ‘What am I supposed to be learning right now?'”

It’s an important reminder that regardless of how difficult your experience is. You can see those difficulties as perpetual punishment or perpetual preparation. Preparation for what, you might ask?

 
Preparation to be an even greater service to those watching you live your life. You don’t live in a vacuum my friend, you live in a family and a community. Regardless of how easy it is to get sucked into your own stuff. 

Try to remember it’s not only about you. It’s also about those who live their lives as part of yours.
 
Choose a path that’s good for all considered. It’s the simple everyday choices to live the best life you can, regardless of the circumstances. That makes all the difference.

Thoughts on this?

Don’t be realistic about things, here’s why

What many claim as being “realistic” is usually a belief in limitations that don’t exist and disbelief in opportunities that do.

Why does this happen? It’s caused by what you allow yourself to envision.

By envisioning limitations you give yourself permission to play it safe and take fewer risks. 

When you don’t believe certain opportunities are available to you, you’re declaring yourself unworthy of them. A “People like me don’t get breaks like that” way of thinking. 

What’s the solution?

Set aside time each day to allow your imagination to run wild. Allow yourself to dream big. When you get used to feeling the exhilaration of what’s possible you’ll begin to ask yourself “HOW” to create it.

Give it a go.

Why people should do business with YOU!

I shared a story with one of my mastermind groups, about a woman that so set herself apart when interacting with customers is resulted in a boost in sales that caught the attention of the CEO.

Watch to learn what she did and how you can model it to improve your own results.

Don’t be fooled by what you think you know

“You can’t solve a problem with the same thinking that got you into it.” 
​- Albert Einstein

 

In business as in life, you MUST learn from those who have gone before you and those who are already experiencing the results you want.

There continues to be a myth perpetuated in this world that there’s such a thing as “self-made.” There’s no such thing. 

You are raised in a context of family, community, country and culture. Like a fish in water you’re largely unaware of just how much you’re influenced by the people and events around you. 

Just this past Halloween a muslim couple was walking around taking pictures of the children in costume. When they arrived at our door my wife remarked about how cute the costumes were. 

The Muslim woman replied, “This is amazing to watch, we’ve never seen Halloween before.” 

Think back to an epiphany you had that changed your way of thinking. What was its source? Was it upon hearing a quote, reading a passage from a book? Perhaps it came some time later after your subconscious had time to process it. ​​​​​​ ​​​​
 
You don’t already have what you need between your ears to get where you want to be, if you did you’d be there already. It’s an entrepreneurial must to keep learning. ​​

The point is clear, trying to go it alone is inviting unneeded frustration and doubles the time it’ll take you to get from here to where you want to be. ​​

Have some humility and ask for guidance instead of believing there’s something righteous about success in isolation.

It takes courage to be responsible

One of the most courageous acts is to take 100% responsibility for your life. It’s the difference between being part of the problem or the solution.

Today’s video explores the power in the opportunities you have daily to be the change you wish to see in the world. 

Don’t let a temporary feeling define your day

Ever say to yourself, “I feel tired today” or “I’m having a hard time focusing today.” In this video, I explain why those statements cause you more difficulty than you realize. 

More importantly, I share a single shift in your thinking that can open the door to an entirely different experience.

How Michaelangelo helped me get over a recent loss

Notes from this video:

  • When has losing something in your life made things better for you?
  • How would you respond to no longer being able to drive?
  • Michelangelo’s sculpting approach says a lot about how to discover your potential.
  • Discovering how interdependence is a compliment to independence

Sick Biz Buzz 020: Brian King Reigns Over Adversity

In this episode, we are sitting down with Brian King. 

Brian King is discussing how he transformed his challenges into a full-time entrepreneurship healing parents and kids. 

Having one of those days

Yesterday was one of those days when things just weren’t working. Watch to learn what I did to turn things around.

Video Notes:

  • I spent time feeling sorry for myself. My self-talk included, “I can’t do anything right today.” 

  • I’d planned to go swimming but began sabotaging myself, “No, I’ll do it a different day.” Until I checked my schedule and realized I had appointments that conflicted with the other open swim times.

  • I made the decision to go swimming even though I felt lousy.

  • While moving through the water I found myself in a more focused, relaxed state.

  • I felt my physical limitations fade away in the water.

  • Swimming became as much a mindset boost as a physical one.

  • Where is your place of calm and focus? Is it walking in nature, reading, participating in a hobby. For me, lately, it’s being in the water.

  • You need an activity that allows you to feel completely connected with yourself. It’s a powerful form of mind, body and spirit self-care.

  • Lastly I share a conversation with a child that occurred as I was getting ready to leave.