How many opinions do you need to have?

One thing that’s important to be mindful of is how often you’re encouraged to have an opinion about something.

The more opinions you have the more you’ll react to in this information charged world.

It is possible to not have an opinion about things. And I encourage you to have opinions about as few things as possible.

Focus on the things that are absolutely essential for you being you in this world.

Being you is all you need to show up with.

This way to inner balance …

Fear of asking for help begins as a fundamental misunderstanding of what it means to be independent.

Independent does not mean “succeeding without help.” It’s referring to independent decision making, thinking for yourself.

It’s imperative to use that skill to seek guidance from more skilled people. You’ll never level up in a vacuum.

Let go of the story about the danger of reaching out.

Then reflect upon this miraculous capacity to look within yourself, with a curiosity that compels you to reach out to others.

This is the feeling of independent thinking within interdependent relationships.

That’s the balance you’re looking for.

Start each day feeling peaceful

Start each day feeling peaceful.

When you first wake ask yourself, “How am I feeling?” Then notice what pops up.

It can be, “I’m grumpy,” “I’m nervous,” “I’m excited.”

If it’s positive, think of the opportunities you’ll have to continue feeling that way throughout your day.

If it’s negative then pause. Ask it, “What does this feeling need me to know?”

The answer will be a story. See it as such and nothing more.

Send the story back to the universe as though you opened your hand and it sped off like a bird.

Now, you can begin your day with the peace you feel after having that weight lifted off your spirit.

You won’t feel alone in a crowd if you do this . . .

You feel lonely in a crowd, even when you’re part of the action, yes?

This is often because the person you’re being is a persona you hope they’ll accept and include.

But this persona isn’t you. You feel truly connected when others see who you are and want to accept and include that person.

They won’t be allowed to even see who you truly are until you love and respect yourself enough to be seen.

The best news is when you truly love and respect yourself, you won’t be as bothered if they don’t accept and include you, because you know you’re lovable and worthy of respect.

Someone who feels at home in their own skin draws others to them. Those who find authenticity attractive. Those are your people.

How to be yourself isn’t taught in school …

Critics have one thing in common. The way you did something didn’t create the result they wanted.

If you grew up with ADHD you know what I’m talking about.

Parents, professionals and peers alike are driven by the need to maintain their own paradigm.

They push and bribe to gain your compliance in doing it their way.

A win occurs when you give them what they want.

It’s easy to grow up second guessing yourself and deferring to others when what you wanted was repeatedly shot down and rarely (if ever) supported.

Fortunately, it’s never too late to discover how worthy and lovable you truly are.

First be aware you were raised to be a cog in a transactional culture.

But that’s not what you were put here for. You’re an extension of the creative force that drives the evolution of everything.

Your evolution depends upon learning to let go of your responsibility for catering to the collective comfort zone of the “normal folk”.

Let them keep society on the existing road while you discover new ones. That’s what you’re here for.

Ready to get started?

What do you see when you look into a mirror?

For 8000 years humanity has had some version of a mirror to look at their physical reflection.

During that time human beings have been encouraged to use a mirror to spot everything wrong with their appearance that must be corrected or covered up with a product.

A product designed to protect you from someone else discovering your appearance is less than perfect.

It’s a perpetual con game played by those who profit from exploiting your insecurity.

How about instead utilizing a mirror as an opportunity to express gratitude for your imperfections? Assign a meaning to the bumps and creases that give your appearance its character.

It all comes down to the conversation you have about what you see.

You’ve been instructed by others your entire life to cover up in some way to please someone else. Someone else who leverages your feelings of not being good enough to meet their own needs.

You must identify and unlearn the messages you’ve been buying into until all that remains is the realization you don’t need someone else’s approval to feel good about yourself.

Apply to become part of my Inner Circle and I’ll teach you how

You dont need the approval of people from your past

How many people are on your friends list because it makes you feel better about yourself by being connected to them?

I unfriended a lot of high school friends I was connected to for all the wrong reasons.

They were people I knew but wasn’t friends with. People I envied because they had friends, appeared happy and successful.

Everything I wished I had during those four years we roamed the same halls.

When they surprisingly wanted to connect on FB, that unresolved need perked up and said, “They finally accept me. I’m more important now (even a little) because this important person sees me.”

Now I understand the truth. I never needed their approval to be good enough, I always was but couldn’t see it.

Turns out, we really didn’t communicate after connecting anyway. The connection served as little more than window dressing for my ego. I don’t need that kind of crap percolating in my brain.

So off they go, along with the need for the approval of people from my past. I don’t need their permission, neither do you.

Apply to become part of my Inner Circle

You’re more than what you produce

It’s amazing how much has changed in my life since the beginning of the global retreat from life as we knew it.

Relationships haven ended, many have been challenged and new ones have began.

I feel like I’ve been unplugged from the Matrix of my own fears. Partially, the journey is ongoing.

I’m not even thinking in terms of how much change has occurred. It doesn’t matter.

What matters is that I stay present and pay attention to life in this moment.

Sometimes it wants me to go tenaciously after my goals. Other times it wants me to stop chasing and spend more time being.

I’m struggling with the latter but I’ll find my way.

We’ve been acculturated to place our worth on the altar of productivity. So much that many lose a sense of who they are if they aren’t “delivering” in some way.

The need to measure up by showing how much you can do is a habit that dies hard.

You owe it to yourself to break free of that web before it consumes you.

9 steps to freedom

Just shared this strategy with a client. I call it “9 Steps to Freedom”.
This is a straightforward strategy for transforming limiting core beliefs into more empowering ones. 
1. What are you grateful for this week? (2-3 things) This gets your mind into a more abundant place.
2. What’s foremost on your mind right now? Describe the problem as you understand it. Everything in your life is connected, you’ll see.
3. Is there anything else?
4. Describe the outcome/result you desire that you believe is presently outside your reach.
5. Identify beliefs that create and/or maintain the problem.
6. Challenge the limiting beliefs
7. Suggest new belief(s) that would make achieving the desired result more possible.
8. Assign an action step to create the needed shift in perception for desired change to take place.
9. Accountability plan (how will you make sure you follow through)? 
Here to help you implement this.

It’s hard to change and grow if you don’t think it’s possible to do

One mistake many parents and professionals make is assuming people with ADHD/ASD are interested in changing to improve their lives.

It isn’t that they don’t want to change, it’s often that they don’t believe they’re able to create the necessary changes to make the effort worth it.

We’re talking about folks who often have difficulty finishing what they start, if they get started at all. They struggle with creating an action plan let alone executing on one.

People with this much difficulty can end up with such brutal self-talk they believe themselves to be stupid, incompetent, worthless etc.

One of the first things to establish with any person living with ADHD/ASD you’ve been entrusted to help – is their mindset. What are their beliefs about change and how to best make it happen?

1. Is change something they want?

2. Do they believe they are capable of making the change(s) they want?

3. If things were more like they wanted them to be, what would be different?

4. What one thing could they do to begin making that change?

5. What do they need to believe about themselves in order to take that first action?

6. Do they agree to act as if what they believed what was stated in #5 is true?

7. Do they agree to take the new action and report back?

How they respond to this exercise will tell you a lot about how flexible their thinking is, their level of self-doubt etc. Do they think they must do it alone instead of with help?

The objective is to introduce the idea of change in a different way because of the questions you ask. Give this a go with yourself and/or someone else and let me know what comes up.