The abilities in your brain that allow you to plan and execute that plan in a smooth, timely and consistent manner.
FLEXIBILITY: Stubbornness & being Flexible work well together
Stubbornness, inflexibility are criticisms often levied against those with ADHD.
This occurs in response to moments when you won’t do what’s asked, won’t agree with someone else’s perspective or change your behavior.
In this confusing world one of the few things a person with ADHD can count on, is their perception of the way the world works. There’s safety and predictability in it.
Two common rules for many with ADHD are:
1. Don’t look stupid by making mistakes
2. Don’t ask for help
Because when either of these rules are broken, the result is often a lecture from someone else on what you should do instead.
Someone who doesn’t understand the way you think or why it is so hard for you to change what you’re doing.￼
As long as stubbornness is the way you’re thought of when you stand your ground, key opportunities for personal growth are missed.￼
So let’s flip the script so we can open some doors.
Were you aware that a synonym of stubbornness is perseverance?
When’s the last time you heard perseverance referred to in a negative way? I certainly haven’t.
Both stubbornness and perseverance have the inherent quality of sticking with something regardless of any resistance you might experience.
Stubbornness is more about refusing to consider new ideas including those that clearly disprove the ones you currently hold.
Perseverance is more about working diligently to maintain progress in the face of internal or external obstacles.￼￼
Stubbornness and perseverance are two sides of the same coin.
Stubbornness fights to maintain the status quo, whereas perseverance seeks alternatives to it. ￼￼
Feeling stuck in life results from a fear of moving beyond stubbornness and into perseverance. Because it requires breaking the aforementioned rules.
You need to risk putting yourself out there, making mistakes, and admitting you don’t know things in order to grow.
￼You need to open yourself up to new ideas and ways of doing things. You need to persevere as you try and try again in search of the mindset and strategies that will ultimately get you the results you want.
There may be times during your journey when you need to slam on the brakes and say “No, I need to take a break. This is too much, get off my back.”
Others may insist you keep going. But you know your body well enough to know you need time to recharge. This is where stubbornness can step in and work well.
Being inflexible when it comes to self-care can be a very valuable skill.￼￼￼
I encourage you to reflect upon the ways stubbornness and perseverance show up in your life.
Aspire to creating a balance between the two in your life. Because you and I both now, too much stubbornness creates stagnation whereas too much perseverance can result in burnout.￼￼
Perseverance is the gas pedal and stubbornness is the brake.￼
Would you like to go out for a drive?