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One thing we worry about is whether our children with differences will be able to live on their own.
It’s important to have a discussion about what that means. What do they think is expected of them?
My youngest got the message from school that he’s expected to be completely independent and require no help. He’s an all or nothing thinker and now we’re working to undo that belief so he’s better able to self-advocate. It’s a work in progress.
We all live as part of a community whether we claim independence or not. What kind of a community do you envision for your child?
Is that community a group home?
A condo association?
An apartment complex?
Maybe a relative’s family?
It looks like whatever you decide it looks like.
The important thing to remember is that NONE of it equals failure if it doesn’t look like everyone else’s life.
It’s hard not to make the comparison when others seem to be happy doing and having things you don’t.
But if I spend my entire life envying someone’s chocolate sundae I can’t enjoy my strawberry ice cream.
You can experience as much joy fishing in a creek with a good friend as you can sitting poolside on a cruise ship.
It’s about being present, connected and grateful.
Build your life around that.
I hope my boys are able to have their own places to live one day. Who knows, maybe they’ll choose to live together.
What matters is that they’re safe, happy and supported.