What makes others happy doesn’t have to make you happy too…

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It takes more strength and focus than you can imagine to remain optimistic when you feel like crap every single day for years.
 

That’s my reality and as I started today it was getting to me a bit. It happens from time to time, it ebbs and flows, it’s also temporary so I know it won’t last which makes it easier to sit with.

 

I spoke with my good friend Victoria Helle this morning. She’s brilliant and an exceptional human that I recommend you check out.

I share this to remind you that I’m not always positive. I experience all of life and want to know all of myself, even the hard stuff.
 
Because the lessons hidden beneath the deep work are so profound it’s worth every tear shed along the way.

What talking with Victoria helped me remember is how I too can fall into the comparison trap as I see others living “busy” lives and being active in a way I wish I could be.

Here was the epiphany. Just because they looked happy being busy in all those photos doesn’t mean I’d be happy living that way. I find greater fulfillment in having deeper experiences. Deep conversations, feeling deeply connected to people. These experiences don’t typically happen in the context of more, more, busy, busy.
 
I realized that my speed and bandwidth is quite different than what the “status quo” encourages and I lost sight of that.
 
It’s a real blessing to have good friends to offer a little perspective and a friendly ear right when you need it.

Thank goodness for second chances

You’ll have your share of naysayers when you’re neurodivergent. When I first enrolled in the Social Work Program, I had a professor who didn’t like me. She went out of her way to try and get me to drop out of the program. It was the early 1990’s and about a decade before I’d learn

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When Facebook wants you to friend a childhood bully

Facebook just recommend I friend someone who literally used to torment me when we were kids. We have FB friends in common it seems. I felt anger at first as I looked at his face. I tried to see evidence of that kid I resented so much. I couldn’t see him. I didn’t know the

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Self-care is about more than getting enough rest

Listen to this post … Self-care isn’t simply about taking care of the parts of you that take care of everyone else. It’s about so much more.  It’s about taking care of the “self”, who you are, what fills you up and makes you feel most alive.  I focus on the self-care that strengthens the

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Where do we go from here…

Listen to this post … I grew up being bullied by classmates, teachers, and even members of my own family.I was beat up at various times from the age of 5 through middle school. I finally fought back, decisively, and no one touched me again after that.To some, I should’ve acted sooner. In my mind,

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When you don’t know how to figure out what isn’t working…

Listen to this post … You don’t need to have resolutions or goals because there’s a new year. Whether you live your life guided by a desire to be, have or do anything is up to you. Regardless of what the calendar says. Your beliefs about what’s possible for you may be informed by how much neurodiversity

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Robbing stigma of its oxygen

“Telling your story of life with neurodiversity educates and robs stigma of its oxygen.” I said something to that effect during a discussion about neurodiversity in the workplace this morning. The question was raised about how to educate employers about differences. I emphasized that it needs to start outside the companies, in our communities and

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