TRUST! Is the foundation of all relationships, yes?
But when you experience either a single or cumulative traumatic events in which trust is broken, you can struggle to find it again.
Though you may be focused on the actions of others as the reason it’s difficult for you to trust. The most important person you must learn to trust again is yourself.
Have you lost trust in your ability to judge who is safe and who isn’t?
Do you lack trust in your ability to keep yourself safe?
Whatever the reason it’s paramount that you begin with yourself.
The fact that you are still here, especially if the trauma was long ago says a great deal about you. It says there’s a part of you that knows it can get better.
If you didn’t believe that on some level you would’ve given up long ago.
If the trauma occurred due to years of being bullied, there are enough people to blame to fill a classroom.
Their role in the trauma is clear and forgiving them is an important step.
Forgiving yourself for what you “should’ve been” or what you “should’ve done” can be harder.
Unless, you show yourself a level of compassion that allows you to accept that at the moment(s) of trauma, you didn’t have the knowledge or skills to know what to do with what happened to you.
If you did, it wouldn’t have hurt you so deeply for so long.
What can you do now?
Allow the adult you to have a talk with the younger you.
The adult you can teach the younger you everything you know now about what the future holds for you. How you’ve managed to keep going, what you’ve been able to accomplish, the new people you’ve met.
All of the ways it’s gotten better.
It doesn’t mean there isn’t still a lot of work to do.
But it’s hard to step into the unknown of healing hurt if you don’t trust in your ability to do the work, go the distance and emerge stronger and wiser on the other side.