There a saying, “Don’t cry over spilled milk.” But as an anxious parent, you often do.
Your child spills juice or accidentally breaks something and you let the world know it. Especially your child.
“What were you thinking?”
“For crying out loud, use your head!”
“Are you stupid or something?”
Here’s a little perspective . . .
“Clean up on aisle 4.”
“I’ll clean that up sir/ma’am and get you a refill.”
In neither of the above scenarios is the person responsible for the mishap scolded or made to feel guilty.
You can attribute it to customer service. I believe it’s a perfect demonstration of accidents happen. When they do, anything other than implementing a solution is a waste of energy and potentially relationship damaging.
It’s easy to blow your top when you’re used to reacting to things. You and I both know that reactivity gives you lousy results. Like treating every inconvenience as a catastrophe.
A principle I teach_my coaching clients_is, focus on the forward, not the fall. Meaning, don’t make a show of the fact the accident happened. Quickly and calmly move into the solution and move forward.
For example. Last night at dinner, our son Connor became distracted and spilled a glass of lemonade. Most of which poured over the side of the table as well as on my wife Cathy’s leg.
Cathy’s response to Connor was to calmly say, “Go get the paper towels and let’s clean this up.”
No yelling, no shaming, no hurt feelings, only support, and solutions.
Accidents happen and they always will. Remember, you’re raising a child to be responsible and also resilient.
Keep your child moving forward on the little things. The seeds you plant there will prepare him to move forward after the big things as well.
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