Your focus determines your reality.
This has interesting implications for a mind that struggles to focus.
Guess what else your focus determines? How you feel.
How are you feeling right now? Do you feel this way because you decided to? Perhaps someone gave you a compliment and you still feel the glow of gratitude and recognition. Its wonderful to sit with that feeling isnt it?
Now imagine your mind bounces from one thing to another. Each time you manage to focus, even for a moment, the emotion youve connected to the thing youre focusing on also arises.
Uh oh, something shining, your focus switches again and a different emotion arises now. Imagine how exhausting this emotional roller coaster can be, day in day out.
This is what its like for me and others with ADHD. Is it a wonder we feel so anxious so often. It’s difficult to learn to be in control of your emotions without being in control of your focus.
Depending on how fragile and flighty your focus is. It can feel as though you experience 10 different emotions in the span of a few minutes.
I was very tired when I woke up this morning and had a particularly hard time finding my focus. In the span of a minute I felt myself go from calm to sad to anxious to angry to, What the hell is going on with me?
When you cant decide what youre feeling from one moment to the next its difficult to know whether you feel safe or frightened, AHHHHH! You with me on this?
We choose our actions according to what we feel more so than what we think. See what a problem this is.
What the hell do you do?
In my case, I took a deep breath and used a technique I teach my clients. Its called Tapping.
Actually, I teach my client two techniques to help them trigger a relaxation response whenever they need it. The first is a variety of meditation techniques to focus and calm your mind.
The second is a technique called Tapping which trains the amygdala (the emotional center of the brain) to associate calm with as many anxiety producing experiences as possible. Pretty awesome huh.
Those who work with people like us, focus on making us sit still, pay attention and behave ourselves. Almost no attention is given to our emotional reality. Our emotions are where we are most raw, real and vulnerable.
Thats where we need help.
Thats where I come in.